To my disappointment, I didn't find a particular sense of leading from God on these issues as I was traveling. I struggled with this a bit along the way. Should I have done these rotations? Am I simply experiencing some of the hard parts of living cross-culturally (initial language- and culture-learning, minimal relationships with nationals, the adjustment phase again) with few of the rewards of staying in one place longer-term? Am I missing out on something God wants to be showing me?
As I read On Being a Missionary on the flights back home, the author talked about the issue of calling in missions. Every child of God has a calling from God, a calling to go and serve others, to love and obey God, to learn to live in healthy relationships with others where we slowly learn to put others' needs above our own, to submit to each other in the Body (Church) and to honor others' gifts and abilities and cover for their weaknesses in love. But all who go to serve cross-culturally should also have an additional sense of calling to go there, whether a gradual sense building over time or a one-time supernatural experience of calling, which is necessary to sustain them through the difficulties involved.
I do have that sense, I realized, or I have at a number of times in the past. I don't need to manufacture a new and repeated sense of calling when I don't feel particular direction from God. The choice simply becomes: will I be obedient to the calling God has already revealed to me to live and work cross-culturally and internationally at some point in my future for a number of years? This realization was a relief to me. After all, the larger question of whether I will be obedient to God's will for me is simply the question of the Christian life: will I allow God to be God and trust that his goodness will lead to His plan for me being the best possible route for my life? That is a choice I have made many times in the past and can continue to make now, trusting that the details of his calling on my life will become clear as I choose to follow wherever he leads.
My own experience is that God doesn't tell us what is next until the next thing is upon us! You won't have to search for your country...it will be right there in your face, an unmistakable call! We only see a short bit ahead on our paths, just as your picture shows...
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